Blog Entry

Santa Claus - A Bigot?

Posted on: December 7, 2008 8:06 am
At first glance, you may be thinking to yourself: "Is this guy crazy? Santa Claus a bigot?" but trust me, at the end of this entry you'll be under the same mindset.

The first argument would be how Jolly Old Saint Nick enters the "good kids'" homes -- through the chimney. So, basically you're telling me only kids whose parents have enough cash to own nice homes that have fireplaces get selected as "good." I guess getting warm and cozy by electric base board heat is naughty -- sorry kids, no presents.

Second, Father Christmas wrangles up all the dwarfs, midgets, and little people he can, sticks them all in conforming uniforms and forces them to do all of his work 364 days a year while he takes all the credit for his one night of work. Why not hire union toy builders and pay them a decent wage. Simple, he can strong arm the "happy elves" because they are different.

Finally, and my most compelling argument, I would like to enter the holiday classic "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" into evidence. Kris Kringle through his own words incriminates himself. When Santa first met Rudolph and discovered the terrible red nose, he confronts Rudolph's father with, "Donner, you should be ashamed of yourself." I guess he's right, Donner, you should be ashamed that your son is different than the rest, diversity is wrong, right Santa? Also, Santa wanted no part of this red-nosed freak until he was going to exploit his difference for his own selfish benefit.

Ladies & Gentlemen of the Jury, the facts are simple. You decide for yourself, is Mr. Claus a misunderstood hero, or have my arguments convinced you to seek out the resignation of this Holiday Villain. Maybe those characters in Philadelphia were right to boo him and pelt him with snowballs.

Category: General
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